One of the most difficult things to do in life is to forgive people who have offended us. An average person has the tendency to pay back whatever wrong any one has meted out to them. They find it difficult to forgive when offended and saying they are sorry when they go wrong. It takes a person truly born of the spirit of God and a person who has a soft heart to forgive when offended and apologize when they go wrong.
If it is not easy to forgive a person and let go an offence, then it may not be easy to pray for anyone who offends us. So many people are used to praying against, insulting, cursing, swearing at and raining curses on anyone who has offended them. Instead, we should learn and live by praying for people who infuriated, back stabbed, and betrayed us and others generally. Revenge is not always the best option. Instead, it makes you even worse than the person who betrayed you. Two wrongs do not make a right and your revenge could cost you a lot than what the person you are trying to pay evil with evil. It could cost you your finances, integrity, prestige, peace and so on if you are keen on paying back. We should try as much as possible to overcome the desire to pay back with the act of love.
In football (soccer), if you deliberately or unconsciously pull some one down in the course of a match and the person stands up immediately and do the same to you, the referee may give you a yellow card and give the person a red card for retaliating. As a footballer, it is expected of you to act professionally at all times. You are not supposed to retaliate when you are infringed upon by another player. This is the reason a football match is officiated by a referee and other match officials. It is his responsibility to penalize the offender and not yours. They are saddled with the responsibility of officiating the match professionally according to the rules of the game.
In our case, God is the umpire, judge, referee and the official in charge of the game we are playing on earth. He is the righteous judge and his word says that the battles belong to him. He is the one who will fight for you and not you because he is the true official officiating the game we are playing in. He is not partial, biased and he does not take sides because he acts according to his word. Being the only righteous judge, he sees the infringement on you and he acts immediately in your favour accordingly. He can warn the offender, give him a yellow card or a red card depending on the gravity of the offence against you.
However, he has introduced a new kind of way of judging people who offend others. He allows the person offended to carry out a kind of decision against that person who offends him. This new decision against the offender is called LOVE. He wants you to carry out and show love to both those who love and hate you. He does not want you to retaliate, instead he wants you to pray for and embrace them. To pray for and not against a person who offends you is an act of love. It also means to bless, to favour, to help, to show sympathy and so on. You can’t pray for someone who you hate ordinarily. It takes God’s love to pray for and love someone who has betrayed and back stabbed you.
My colleague told me that when she was in camp, a lady and guy were struggling over a seat and the lady gave the guy a five alive (a slap) but he just looked at her and walked away. The people who were around and saw what really happened were surprised that the guy in question did not retaliate. They expected him to hit her back but they got amazed by his actions of not retaliating. The people touched by his actions turned to the lady and gave her the insults of her life. She left the scene ashamed of herself and her actions. Also, I was told of a pastor’s experience with a passenger of a bus. The pastor and the other passenger alighted at their bus stop and he mistakenly stepped on the passenger as they alighted from the bus. The man gave him a slap and his books fell on the ground as he slapped the pastor. He (the pastor) picked up the man’s books and gave them to him. The man having realized what he did became so ashamed of himself. Though he had been slapped, the pastor’s response of picking up the man’s books melted the man. It was like heaping coals of fire or cold water on him.
Romans 12: 14-21 says: 14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. 15 Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. 16 Be of the same mind toward one another. Do not set your mind on high things, but associate with the humble. Do not be wise in your own opinion.17 Repay no one evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men. 18 If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. 19 Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord. 20 Therefore if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him a drink; for in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head.” 21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
I like the way Proverbs 25:21-22 (Easy To Read Version “ERV”) puts it. It says “21 If your enemies are hungry, give them something to eat. If they are thirsty, give them some water. 22 This will make them feel the burning pain of shame, and the Lord will reward you for being good to them”.
When you do good to a person who does harm or evil to you, you will make them feel the burning pain of shame. If you do that, you will be making him more ashamed of himself, and the Lord will reward you. We should not let evil defeat and overcome us, instead we should defeat evil by doing good to those who have hurt and harmed us by showing them love, blessing them and praying for them. I know that one can pray for a person without loving him. But if you love someone, you will definitely pray, show love, bless and help the person no matter what he has done because love overlooks every fault, wrong, offence, unkindness and unselfishly seeks the best for others (Proverbs 17:9, 1 Peter 4:8). It truly wipes away and forgives many sins and insults. Wilson Ileogben
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